Foretaste of Heaven

Here Comes Santa Claus

2011-11-18T08:37:00.000-08:00

An unnamed little boy is playing the track over and over again. Jackson 5's Santa Claus is Coming to Town is blaring through the speakers accompanied by the boy who is belting it out with equal gusto. This same soloist when asked last year what he thought about Santa Claus replied, "He's the guy that wears the red suit and flies around and goes down chimneys."

"Do you think Santa is real?"

"No, that's ridiculous!"

We seriously couldn't convince him if we wanted to! I have to admit I was somewhat relieved. It always felt a little strange trying to explain that Jesus is real, and then in the next breath saying that Santa is real too. Although, now I was worried that he would be the scroogiest little boy around and that I would be the bad mother who made him that way. Like when a sweet little lady asked him what Santa brought him for Christmas. She was caught off guard by the then 3 year old's reply. "Santa's not real!" The incredulous three year old's look implied, "You're old and you should know better." Meanwhile I'm frantically whispering to him, "It's ok to pretend!!"

I don't mean to trash Santa, because I remember being pretty excited about him as a kid, and it is fun to pretend. I do wonder though. Are we a little ridiculous in our Santa obsession in North America?

The other day I was chatting with my hairdresser about Santa Claus. (Don't ask me how that came up.) I had said that I thought St. Nicholas was a real man in history who gave gifts to poor people. "Ya, and then the story evolved and we took it a little far," she laughed.

She may be right. After all we did put him in a red suit and made him fly.

So this year we asked our two year old what he thought about Santa. He shrugged his shoulders and replied, "I don't know." Then he went back to eating his supper. He seriously doesn't care about Santa.

Maybe this year we will teach them about Saint Nicholas. He seems like someone worthy to be remembered.

For My Weary Friends

2011-06-02T09:59:00.000-07:00

This Spurgeon reading was a balm to my soul this morning. It seems that so many dear friends and family are going through difficult things right now. I also have felt some discouragement this morning as I plunge into the world of overdue babies and potential inducements and complications. In the "midnight of adversity" it is so difficult to remember God's faithfulness. I forget that seasons of day and night are the norm until 'we reach the land of which it is written, "there is no night there."' It's worth taking five minutes to read because Spurgeon says it so well.

He offers four beautiful remedies for the soul in a season of darkness:

Learn first to be content with this divine order, and be willing, with Job, to receive evil from the hand of the Lord as well as good.
Study next, to make the outgoings of the morning and the evening to rejoice. Praise the Lord for the sun of joy when it rises, and for the gloom of evening as it falls. There is beauty both in sunrise and sunset;...
Believe that the night is as useful as the day. The dews of grace fall heavily in the night of sorrow.
Continue thy service under all changes. If in the day thy watchword be labour, at night exchange it for watch. Every hour has its duty, do thou continue in thy calling as the Lord’s servant until he shall suddenly appear in his glory.

Thankfulness in adversity is a feeling that needs to be cultivated. It does not come naturally. How blind we are sometimes to see the beauty in the night, and yet Christ is there if we open our eyes to see Him. His steadfast love and strong arm surround and uphold His own. He never abandons them.

The dews of grace fall heavily in the night of sorrow.

What waste is achieved by despair and escapism. What wealth could be gained by soaking in the dews of grace. To know and see Him in all his beauty and loveliness. Is this not worth the night?

Outrageous Love

2010-12-13T02:36:00.000-08:00

How can morally upright people go to hell and the worst offenders of mankind be forgiven?

I sometimes feel the seemingly injustice of God's love. I wonder if I am the elder brother in the Prodigal Son parable, or like Jonah in his bitterness toward God for forgiving the Ninevites. I instinctively feel that people should deserve what they get, whether good or bad.

How quickly I forget that Jesus was butchered on that tree. God can forgive whomever he choses--from the greatest to the worst of mankind.

If Jesus bore God's wrath on behalf of a sinner at great cost to himself, who am I to oppose it?

If he clothes repulsive, despicable people in beautiful robes of His own righteousness, who am I to object?

If he chooses to love the unlovely ones and to adopt them as his own precious children, who am I to speak against them?

God's love is not unjust. It is generous and overflowing in ways that are outrageous to me.

But perched on my high hill of self righteousness, I wonder. Would I not have done all that and more without Divine restraint.

This generous love that exchanges death for life, wounds for healing, mourning for dancing, overflows to me too. It flows over me in an unconditional and unrelenting stream that washes me clean.

For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, whom God put forward as a propitiation by his blood, to be received by faith...so that he might be just and the justifier of the one who has faith in Jesus. ~Romans 3:23-26

The Consummate Gardener (aka My Neighbor)

2010-07-29T21:21:00.000-07:00

I decided to try my hand at gardening this year. I am not a plant person. Whenever I try to grow things, they usually die. A friend of mine once gave me some mint plants. She assured me that I could not kill mint. It was like a weed.

I killed it.

Things seem to be turning around. I am suddenly a hardcore veggie gardener. I'm getting totally competitive with our 70-something neighbors. I can't walk past their yard without an envious glance at their vegetable patch. Why are their tomatoes so ripe and beautiful? Maybe I need to move mine around the yard constantly in order to get the best possible sunlight. (They have their tomatoes on wheels...really.)

I told the women in my running club that I had started a garden this year. The look on their faces made me wonder if I had something on my face.

"You mean like...a vegetable garden? My grandmother does that sort of thing."

Maybe it was my overly enthusiastic gushing that turned them off. I better tone that down next time.

We have already consumed over half the garden. I think to myself, "Who wouldn't want to do this? The food is fresh, cheap and chemical free." Well, at least it was chemical free until my husband put the bug fogger to it.

Just Do Something

2010-06-06T15:53:00.000-07:00

NEEDING TO KNOW THE FUTURE

I am enjoying Kevin DeYoung's book, Just Do Something. The subtitle is A Liberating Approach To Finding God's Will Or How To Make A Decision Without Dreams, Visions, Fleeces, Impressions, Open Doors, Random Bible Verses, Casting Lots, Liver Shivers, Writing in the Sky, Etc.

The subtitle is pretty self explanatory. If you've ever felt paralyzed with indecision or felt the need to constantly second guess yourself or if you can't seem to make decisions until you know exactly how it will all play out, this book is a liberating read. I've only read the first 4 chapters, but so far I am very impressed. He suggests five reasons for our obsession with knowing the future before we make decisions.

We want to please God
Some of us are timid
We want perfect fulfillment
We have too many choices
We are Cowards

PUFFED UP ON MEDIOCRITY

I sometimes agonize over my decisions. I think this is because I selfishly want the best and most fulfilling life possible. Ironically, a life of paralyzing fear and indecision is pretty far from heaven on earth. DeYoung's assessment about my generation in particular I found very interesting.

Some of this is a generational thing. After all, my peers and I were among the first ones to experience grade inflation, where we got A's for excavation our feelings and "doing our best" at calculus. We were among the first to be programmed for self-esteem, as we learned that having a pulse made us wonderfully special...We've been stuffed full of praise for mediocrity and had our foibles diagnosed away with hyphenated jargon and pop psychology. It's no wonder we expect people to affirm us for everything, criticize us for nothing, and pay us for anything we want to do...We want it all--all we need is for God to show us the way. (p. 30)

THE WEIGHTINESS OF THE INCONSEQUENTIAL

If we are so puffed up, why isn't my generation confident in decision making? We tend to float through life without committing to anything permanent. We want to keep all our options open. The transition to adulthood and all it's responsibilities is almost despised or looked down upon by peers. Being free and young is the ultimate achievement. It reminds me of a Lululemon bag I saw that said something to the effect of "Enjoy every experience. It may be the meaning of life." This does put a lot of pressure on a person. If you make the wrong choice and miss out on certain experiences, you may miss out on the whole meaning of your life!

If we are in any way believing this lie, it is no wonder that we hesitate to be attached to one person, one job, one place or especially hesitant about having children--those cute little people that consume all our best time and energy. We miss out on a myriad of experiences if we limit ourselves in any of these ways.

I think we feel somewhat entitled to the best experiences the world has to offer. Not only this, but we also desire and expect instant gratification and fulfillment in this world. DeYoung comments on the negative consequences of our insatiable desire for earthly fulfillment:

We've assumed that we'll experience heaven on earth, and then we get disappointed when earth seems so unheavenly. We have little longing left for our reward in the next life because we've come to expect such rewarding experiences in this life. And when every experience and situation must be rewarding and put us on the road to complete fulfillment then suddenly the decisions about where we live, what house we buy, what dorm we're in, and whether we go with tile or laminate take on weighty significance. There is just too much riding on every decision I'm pretty sure most of us would be more fulfilled if we didn't fixate on fulfillment quite so much. (p.32)

TRUSTING IN THE ONE WHO HOLDS THE FUTURE

There is so much wisdom packed into this little book. One gem I've gleaned is that we don't need to know God's individual will for us before we make decisions. We can trust that God has good things in store for us, set our mind on things above and then 'just do something'. In his own words,"we can stop pleading with God to show us the future, and start living and obeying like we are confident that He holds the future." (p.42)

My Little Cowboys

2010-06-06T12:06:00.000-07:00

Taking a ride on Daddy's horse.

H. and his cousins at a rodeo.

Favorite Arizona Moments

2010-03-31T12:26:00.000-07:00

We just returned from a lovely family vacation. I thought I would share a few of my favorite moments in picture form.

My boys.

Talking the dune buggy for a ride in the desert.

The view from Apache Trail.

Ice cream at Tortilla Flats.

My two year old watching a rodeo.

Death, Widowhood and Old Age Humiliation

2010-03-04T19:57:00.000-08:00

Lately I've been thinking about finishing well.

I sometimes wonder whether my mind or my body will break down first. I think about the frustration of going from competency to helplessness. What will it be like to have my independence taken away from me? Someday I will no longer be able to drive or live on my own. I may not be able to dress or bath myself. I wonder if I will have the humility to laugh or if I will feel degraded. I recently saw an older person stumble and spill their coffee on their pants and someone's floor, and feel humiliated. We will all experience this someday.

I think about having loved ones die, and being alone. I once heard a widow recount how she was no longer included in certain social events after her husband died because tables were set for an even number, and couples like to hang out with other couples.

THE TEMPTATION OF BITTERNESS

I wonder how difficult it will be to journey through old age. Why do some people finish so well, and others act with such ugliness. Some are kind, joyful, and contented even though their life is far more difficult then it was in younger years. Others seem bitter, selfish, and demanding...like they are owed something and not getting their due.

I imagine it is tempting to think, 'Is this it? Is it all over? Isn't there supposed to be some payoff for all the things I've accomplished in my life?'

I'm sure that the difficulties of old age will exacerbate my sinful tendencies. It's easy to be a good person when your life is great, but it's far harder to put sin to death when life is difficult.

BEING FORGOTTEN

The elderly are somewhat forgotten in our world. Their spotlight stolen by the young and upcoming. I am convicted that I desire far too much attention from other people. In the words of Robert Murray McCheyne, "I need to be made willing to be forgotten." If my identity is in Christ alone, then even in my loneliest times, it will be enough. How is it possible that I am loved by the God of the universe--intimately, unconditionally--because of Jesus' work on my behalf? This truth makes me hopeful.

THE LAST CHAPTER

As I contemplate these things, the thing that gives me the greatest hope is this: old age is not the final chapter in life. There is eternity after that. And that is when the payoff comes for those who trust in Jesus for salvation. When our broken, decaying bodies will be made whole again. All that is crooked and wrong in the world will gone and the beauty of our Saviour will be before our eyes night and day. "In Your presence there is fullness of joy; at Your right hand are pleasures forevermore."

FINAL THOUGHTS

As I contemplate further, I wonder why I assume that I will live into old age anyway? Perhaps I will see my Saviour sooner than I think.

Maybe this all seems a little morbid. I do realize that there is no surer way to make good company uncomfortable than to talk about death. But I wonder if we too often live in a world where sin does not exist and death does not happen. A delightful, yet false reality.

The Silence of Idols

2010-02-23T09:53:00.000-08:00

A provoking thought from this excellent sermon by Carl Trueman.

"Think very carefully about what you worship because that sums you up. That is all you are at the end of the day."

Identity

2010-02-16T10:43:00.000-08:00

Everyone struggles to justify their existence. Although, I think that often our generation just tries to escape. It's fairly easy to live in a world of entertainment--a false reality. But even so, we cannot do this for long. Inevitably, there has to be some meaning in life. We need to have some sense of worth and purpose.

Everyone has their identity in something. The thing that you absolutely cannot live without--a successful career, family, lover, intelligence, money, or friends--whatever that thing is, that is your identity. It is what your life is centered on. It is what makes you feel fulfilled.

Some of these things are good in and of themselves, but as Tim Keller says in his book, Reason for God:

If we take our meaning in life from our family, our work, as cause, or some achievement other than God, they enslave us...The good things that enslave us are good things that deserve to be loved. But when our heart loves become inordinate, then we fall into patterns of life that are not unlike substance addiction. (p. 165)

The problem becomes apparent when one of these things fails you. Who are you then?

If anything threatens your identity you will not just be anxious but paralyzed with fear. If you lose your identity through the failings of someone else you will not just be resentful, but locked into bitterness. If you lose it through your own failings, you will hate or despise yourself as a failure as long as you live. (p. 165)

Biblically speaking, putting our identity in anything other than God is sin. To value something more than Christ is in the truest sense idolatry. I think we often don't realize how much we value something until we are threatened with losing it. If there is something other than Christ that we cannot live without, we are on very unstable ground.

We may think we are independent--that we don't need anyone or anything. But what if our independence is taken away? Who are we then? We always live for something. Whatever that something is controls us. It becomes our master. I know that some people feel that Christ is a hard master and that Christianity is a straightjacket. I couldn't disagree more. As Keller says,

If Jesus is your center and Lord and you fail him, he will forgive you. Your career can't die for your sins. You might say, "If I were a Christian I'd be going around pursued by guilt all the time!" But we all are being pursued by guilt because we must have an identity and there must be some standard to live up to by which we get that identity. Whatever you base your life on--you have to live up to that. Jesus is the one Lord you can live for who died for you--who breathed his last breath for you. Does that sound oppressive?... Jesus is the only Lord who, if you receive him, will fulfill you completely, and, if you fail him, will forgive you eternally. (p.172-173)

Having my identity in Christ brings me so much joy. Jesus has shown me such kindness, compassion and patience. He has gently wooed me and healed me. His great love has melted my heart of stone and replaced it with a heart of flesh. I find it a beautiful thing to rest in Him.

Note: I have referenced Tim Keller in this note because I have recently read him and found him to be remarkably insightful into the inner workings of my heart. However, I really should footnote my beloved husband who has taught me everything I know about having my identity in Christ.

Acceptance

2010-02-09T11:24:00.000-08:00

This poem really stirred me. The author writes transparently about feeling low, but also the Christian's call to come out of the valley. Communicated with such compelling and vivid imagery. I highly recommend taking a read if you are feeling low.

For Knox

2010-01-25T12:28:00.000-08:00

Sparkling brown eyes full of mischief and life.

You flash your tiny teeth and try to show off.

You are thick like a brick.

There is strength in your arm and determination in your eye.

Will you grow up to be a man of courage?

You fall asleep in my arms,

The most precious of treasures.

Rosy red lips beg to be kissed.

Dark eyelashes fan your silky soft cheek.

You sleep so soundly, securely;

My gentle warrior.

Will you grow up to a world rank with violence?

Will you do the right thing or the easy thing?

Your little voice says, "Mama."

My heart melts.

You race to meet me,

Your soft arms encircle me.

How I wish I could protect you forever,

But you will take flight,

And I will trust in God.

Bifrost Arts

2010-01-19T14:41:00.000-08:00

Come O Spirit! An Anthology of Hymns and Spiritual Songs is a beautiful compilation CD put out by Bifrost Arts. According to their MySpace profile, Bifrost is "a sacred music non-profit that exists to enrich the church and engage the world with beauty and truth."

The info I've found about them online is a little patchy at best. It seems like they are trying to provide music that encourages congregational singing in the church. This really appeals to me. The quality of their music is very high, and it seems that good lyrics are a priority. They include many old hymns with new arrangements, but also some new songs.

On a side note, the Kyrie on this album is beautiful, but a little too Roman Catholic for me. I'm a big advocate of church music being in the vernacular so that everyone can understand what they are saying. But apart from this, I love the album. I think the sign of a good album is when it gets better the more you listen to it. And this one does.

The Christmas album is a little darker then your average, but gorgeous in it's own way. Christianity Today says of it, "Think Tim Burton's Nightmare Before Christmas with the life-changing message of peace on earth, goodwill to men." My Kids don't like it as much as I do. When I was listening to Let All Mortal Flesh Keep Silence, my two year old said, "Mommy, I'm scared!"

I bought my albums on itunes for $9.99 each, but it looks like you can also order them from Amazon.

They have started a blog here, and some interesting reviews here and here.

Yoga: Five Ways of Salvation in Hinduism

2010-01-16T13:29:00.000-08:00

I found Vishal Mangalwadi's article here fascinating and enlightening. I have the feeling that most of us in the West have no idea what this trendy new phenomenon is all about. The yoga crowd seems to be beautiful, sophisticated or just really cool. Buzz words like "holistic" and "spiritual" fly around. Christians are divided about whether they should or shouldn't do it. And from what I've heard, most people think yoga's purpose is physical flexibility and stress release.

I appreciated Mangalwadi's perspective on yoga. Although now approaching from a Christian worldview, he has first hand knowledge of the topic. A native of India, he was at one time initiated into Maharishi Mahesh Yogi's brand of Japa yoga (known as TM) in Maharishi's own living room.

Mangalwadi expounds on the global appeal and the religious worldview of yoga, and even the techniques used to alter conscience. (He even explains how to see the 'divine light' through the 'third eye' by gentle manipulation of the eyeball...in case you care to try.)

The problem with yoga according to Mangalwadi is not the exercises themselves, but the philosophy behind them:

Someone may ask, ‘What is wrong with artificially altering consciousness?’ By itself there is nothing wrong with an altered state of consciousness. Sleepwalking, hypnosis, hallucination, even madness are all ‘altered’ states of consciousness. There is nothing wrong with them in a moral sense, even if some of them are deemed undesirable states of consciousness. The problem is philosophical. Is your altered state of consciousness God? If it is not, then does it matter if you consider your own altered state of consciousness God? Is it harmless to call yourself the President of your nation if in fact you are not the President? If your inner self is not God then when you look within could you be looking for God in the wrong place? Is it right to call something spiritual which is in fact physical or psychological? Does it matter if you are mistaken in your beliefs? Well, does it matter if you go on the longest and the most important journey of your life with a map drawn by a person who mistook East for West or North for South?

I was very interested to read his thoughts and observations about the effects of monism. Especially because of his firsthand view of it's effects in India. I sometimes feel that we romanticize things that are foreign and slightly mysterious to us. And yet, this does not help us assess the worth of a worldview. Mangalwadi explains:

The monistic idea that the human self is the same as the divine self and that everything is one, makes our individuality illusory, thereby destroying the very foundation for affirming the unique value of every individual. It should not surprise us that the Indian philosophical tradition, in spite of all its brilliance, could not produce a culture that recognized human rights and the intrinsic worth of the individual. Nor could yogic monism give to Indian society a framework for moral absolutes, a strong sense of right and wrong, fair and unfair. Yogic exercises indeed gave flexibility to our bodies but unfortunately the yogic philosophy gave too much flexibility to our morals – making us one of the most corrupt nations in the world.

Mangalwadi's answer for these problems is biblical. He believes that our problem is moral, not physical or metaphysical.

God is holy – morally pure. We are sinful, not merely ignorant. We have done what we know to be wrong and failed to do what we know to be right. A holy God must judge and punish our sin. God and sin cannot co-exist anymore than light and darkness. Our need is not altered consciousness, but transformed hearts, for the heart is the real core of our being and our character...Our central problem, according to the Bible is that we are sinners. We need a divine Savior who will forgive our sins and transform our hearts – the core of our being.

I found this article informative and sort of a fun read. It also made me appreciate the worldview that has shaped our country and the benefits we enjoy because of it.

NOTE: In case you're interested to hear more from this fascinating man, he is coming to Calgary to speak at our conference Jan. 29 and 30. You can find more info here and here.

Longing to Be Blogging

2010-01-11T10:42:00.000-08:00

With the busyness of life and fatigue and babies, I've totally dropped the ball. I am often thinking of things that I would like to write about. Hopefully soon.

Silent Night

2009-12-17T12:42:00.002-08:00

I recently discovered this Christmas album by Red Mountain Music. I think it will be a new family favorite for us. It's lovely. You can get two free songs from the album on Justin Taylor's blog here.

More Hope for Miserable Christians: The Romantic Bookeeper

2009-12-08T08:53:00.000-08:00

Nothing will make you miserable faster then seeing other Christians do less and receive more. And by that I mean, that you see others doing less for the kingdom of God and yet their life seems better than yours. They may have a better marriage, a better house, better friends or simply more enjoyment in life. They may have had a spiritual experience that you have not, or seem closer to God and they may just seem happier.

Martyn Lloyd-Jones addresses this issue in his book Spiritual Depression: It's Causes and Cure. I was helped by the chapter on the parable of the laborers in the vineyard (Matt. 20).

The first laborers in the vineyard bargain with the master for their payment, but later when they receive their payment in full, they feel that the master has treated them unjustly because others were rewarded in a greater way then they were.

According to Lloyd-Jones the cure for this type of depression is realizing that things work differently in the New Creation. (2 Cor. 5:17) If we are in Christ, we can no longer act as if the old rules of this world apply.

We must say to ourselves every day of our lives: 'Now I am a Christian, and because I am a Christian I am in the Kingdom of God and all my thinking has got to be different. Everything here is different. I must not bring with me those old ideas, those old moods and concepts of thought.' (p.129)

So how do things work in the Kingdom of God? First of all, says Lloyd-Jones,

Do not think in terms of bargains or rights in the Kingdom of God. That is absolutely fatal. There is nothing so wrong as the spirit which argues that because I do this, or because I have done that, I have a right to expect something else in return. (p. 129)

It doesn't matter how spiritual our actions are. We cannot strong arm God into doing what we want. Even if we stay up all night praying for revival, we cannot make one happen. Only God can bring revival. If we are faithful in our spiritual disciplines, we do not have a right to joy and contentment. If we do good to others, we do not deserve to have a beautiful life.

The key according to Lloyd-Jones is realizing that "Everything is of grace in the Christian life from the very beginning to the very end." (p. 130) Not only that, but you are actually robbing yourself if you try to bargain with God. It is never a good idea to do something for God so that He will do something for you. "If you do, you will get only your bargain; but if you leave it to his grace, you will probably get more than you ever thought of." (p.130) (cf. Matt. 6)

I especially loved his next new creation principle:

Do not keep a record or an account of your work...keep your eye on Him and His glory, on His love and His honour and the extension of His Kingdom.

Lloyd-Jones points us to Matt. 6, "do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing,...And your Father who sees in secret will reward you."

There is no need to waste time keeping the accounts, He is keeping them. And what wonderful accounts they are. May I say it with reverence, there is nothing I know of that is so romantic as God's method of accountancy. Be prepared for surprises in this kingdom. You never know what is going to happen. The last shall be first. What a complete reversal of our materialistic outlook, the last first, the first last, everything upside down. The whole world is turned upside down by grace...His book-keeping is the most romantic thing I know of in the whole world.

I am beginning to realize that it is all of grace in the Christian life--not just my entry into it--but also the middle and the end. And this realization brings a delightful joy and contentment.

Breaking the First Rule of Small Talk

2009-11-24T10:00:00.000-08:00

This post from the What's Best Next Blog by Matt Perman, senior director of strategy at Desiring God, made me smile. I picture all the awkward small talk that I've had in my life and I have to laugh.

Some people instantly welcome you into warmth and comfort with their small talk. With others it can be both stiff and awkward. Why?

Perman quotes author Keith Ferrazzi, and I think there is something to be said for his point of view.

Small talk experts claim that when you first meet a person, you should avoid unpleasant overly personal, and highly controversial issues.

Wrong! Don't listen to these people! Nothing has contributed more to the development of boring chitchatters everywhere. The notion that everyone can be everything to everybody at all times is completely off the mark. Personally, I'd rather be interested in what someone was saying, even if I disagreed, than be catatonic any day.

There's one guaranteed way to stand out in the professional world: Be yourself. I believe that vulnerability--yes vulnerability--is one of the most underappreciated assets in business today. Too many people confuse secrecy with importance...And as a rule, not many secrets are worth the energy required to keep them secret.

Being up front with people confers respect; it pays them the compliment of candor. The issues we all care most about are the issues we all want to talk about most. Of course, this isn't a call to be confrontational or disrespectful. It's a call to be honest, open, and vulnerable enough to genuinely allow other people into your life so that they can be vulnerable in return.

I think we often take ourselves too seriously. And while I think it is unwise to 'air all our dirty laundry' to everyone, I also resonate with Ferrazzi's thought that, "not many secrets are worth the energy required to keep them secret.

I'm a Christian so I know I'm flawed. The only thing that makes me acceptable is that I am "in the Beloved." In all truth, I feel more comfortable with someone who knows my imperfections (and hopefully still likes me) then with someone who thinks I'm better then I actually am.

I also feel much more comfortable with people who are transparent. Those who show the real them with quirks and all. And honestly, the people who are the most fun to be with are the ones that can really laugh at themselves.

I need to be willing to welcome people into my world. I suppose the worst that could happen is that someone will think I'm a bit of a fool...and they may be right. But maybe someone else would feel warm and welcomed.

Happy Birthday, My Love

2009-11-24T09:38:00.000-08:00

Whoever came up with the idea of the 'seven year itch' didn't know what they were talking about. Sorry George Axelrod, Billy Wilder or whoever.

My love for you grows every year. You are the best man I have ever known. Being married to you is truly a foretaste of heaven.

Mr. Boss Man

2009-11-18T09:41:00.000-08:00

My two year-old recently created a new game called 'farm.' And by 'farm' he doesn't mean "You're a horse and I'm a cow" or "I'm on the combine," but rather, he says to me, "I'm Daddy and you're Dave."

In case you're wondering, Dave is the hired man. So our game goes something like this:

My little boy takes an authoritative stance and says loudly, "Dave, help me get this fixed." or "Dave, go ahead and open that door for me." and often, "Dave...DAVE, I need your help here!" Etc. etc., all day long.

I'm beginning to think he just figured out a way to be bossy without getting in trouble.

Hope for Miserable Christians

2009-11-10T09:59:00.000-08:00

If you have never realized your guilt or guiltiness before God you will never have joy in Christ. It is impossible.

So says Martyn Lloyd-Jones in his book Spiritual Depression: It's Causes and It's Cure. I have heard his name often in certain circles, but I can't say that I've read too much of his work. After reading this book, I can now say that I am smitten. His writing is especially insightful. It cuts straight to the heart and I find it very readable.

The second chapter discusses the person who has had a Christian upbringing, always goes to church, and yet is remarkably miserable. This person sees the joy that new believers have and says, "I wish I had been living their kind of life so that I could also have their marvelous experience." Lloyd-Jones exposes the truth underlying this statement. This person does not believe that they are as much a sinner as the other person. I think you would be hard pressed to find a person who admits to thinking this even though deep down this is what they feel in their heart. The devastating result is that the joy of Christ's particular salvation for them is greatly diminished or non existent.

How do I know if this type of self-righteous thinking has crept into my own heart? Here is the test according to Lloyd-Jones:

'Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart and with all thy soul and with all thy mind and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment. And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself' (Mark 12:30,31). Forget all about drunkards and their like, forget all the people you read about in the press at the present time. Here is the test for you and me: Are you loving God with all your being? If you are not,...you are a sinner of the deepest dye, whether you know it and feel it or not. (p.30)

And here is another test:

John 17:3: 'This is life eternal to know Thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom Thou hast sent'. So the test we apply to ourselves is that. Not, 'Have I done this or that?' My test is a positive one: 'Do I know God? Is Jesus Christ real to me?' I am not asking whether you know things about Him but do you know God, are you enjoying God, is God the centre of your life, the soul of your being, the source of your greatest joy?...You and I are meant to be like that, and if we are not like that, it is sin. (p. 31)

We need to stop thinking about particular sins and comparing ourselves to others. "What determines whether we are sinners is not what we have done, but our relationship to God." (p.34) Jesus Christ is our righteousness. He is the only one who can truly deal with our sin. It is incredibly freeing to look to Him for help and salvation.

Salvation is all in Christ, and unless you feel yourself shut up to Christ with everything else having failed, your are not a Christian, and it is not surprising that you are not happy. (p.32)

Our natural inclination may be to try to save ourselves, but it gets extremely tiring, especially when we realize that it is impossible. Having to constantly prove yourself to God, others and yourself is a wearying task that inherently leads to depression when we fail. As Lloyd-Jones says,

What you need is not to make resolutions to live a better life, to start fasting and sweating and praying. No! you just begin to say: 'I rest my faith on Him alone who died for my transgressions to atone.' (p.35)

Here is where I've found true, lasting, life changing joy.

Honey for a Child's Heart

2009-11-04T08:58:00.000-08:00

Gladys Hunt's blog specializes in children's literature. I resonate with her viewpoint that 'honey' is a good and necessary thing in a child's life. In her own words, "It means finding sweetness in life, like beauty and goodness that nourishes the inner person." I find her blog very thought provoking as I begin to decide what kind of literature I want to expose my children to. She gives a lot of new ideas and help in deciphering a good book from a mediocre one. One of my favorite posts is How to Know the Best Children's Books.

"I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it."

2009-10-19T14:41:00.000-07:00

Do you agree with this definition of tolerance?

D.A. Carson introduced me to this quote (most famously misattributed to Voltaire) in one of his lectures. He has some very insightful thoughts on this subject in his lecture entitled Evangelism in the 21st Century. In it Carson discusses a shift in the definition of tolerance.

Tolerance no longer means allowing someone you disagree with the freedom to believe and practice something different then you. He says,

“A bare quarter of a century ago ‘tolerance’ was understood to be a virtue that operated something like this: If I hold strong views on any particular subject I am nevertheless judged to be ‘tolerant’ if I think that your views are bad, improper, even disgusting, wicked or stupid, but never the less, still insist you have the right to defend them. In other words, a ‘tolerant’ person puts up with somebody else’s views and insists they have the right to hold them even while – in the vigorous arena of debate – we might never the less disagree fundamentally on who is right or who is wrong. Such a person is a ‘tolerant’ person. But nowadays, that is not what ‘tolerance’ means.

Now it seems that tolerance means that you cannot disagree with anybody. Carson continues,

"Now ‘tolerance’ means that you don’t hold that anybody is right or wrong. Everybody is equally right or wrong. Nobody is more right than another person. If you don’t hold that then you are ‘intolerant.’ Now that is a huge shift … Under this new definition of ‘tolerance’ I don’t even know what ‘tolerance’ means because in the old view of ‘tolerance’ you had to disagree with someone before you could actually tolerate them.

I feel the pressure of the new tolerance. Postmodernism is an interesting phenomenon. I know that when I don't cheer on a friend who is spouting off a worldview that is wrong or possibly harmful to themselves or others, I am seen as intolerant. If I believe that I know a better way, I am instantly branded as arrogant, unkind and sort of stupid. Only the unenlightened believe that one thing is better or truer then another.

How I wish for a society in which people could discuss things freely without fear of being branded. Yes, this would allow for a lot of stupid and even hurtful things to be said, but the alternative is repression of freedom.

How does a Muslim, Jew or Atheist say to me, "You are totally right." They cannot because they do not think that I am. Likewise I cannot say that I agree with them. My desire is that we could discuss and even try to convince each other of the rightness of our views, but with kindness and respect. How else will we come to know if there is a better way. Should we be content to muddle around in the dark because we are afraid to ask and afraid to admit what we believe for fear of offending someone?

The kicker is that this new tolerance is by it's very nature intolerant. If I say that you cannot disagree with anybody, I am making an absolute claim. Sometimes it is hard to see our own hypocrisy.

I need to be willing to really listen to others and to speak the truth in love. The alternative is a life of fear.

Show Yourself a Man

2009-10-11T08:57:00.000-07:00

I have always wanted to raise daughters. But to my delight, God has given me sons...loud, rough, active, precious boys.

How do I go about nurturing and training them, especially as they grow into manhood? I take comfort in the fact that they have a wonderful father to emulate, one who is both kind and strong, godly and wise.

I recently read a helpful series of blog posts by Carolyn Mahaney where she discusses her "plans" for her children. She says, "I think about their strengths and weaknesses, their unique temptations, and consider ways I can more effectively encourage and challenge them to grow."

She lists a number of encouragements she gives to her son. One that I found particularly insightful was "Son, kill a bear or a lion." She says,

This “bear” or “lion” could be an area where he is not gifted or his personality is not inclined, and because of selfishness, fear, or pride, he prefers to avoid. We want to show Chad the underlying sin that hinders him, and then challenge him to attack it. See, we not only desire to help Chad grow stronger where he is already strong, but to also grow strong where he is weak.

It seems so much easier to emphasize your son's strengths and overlook his weaknesses. But I suppose the end result would be an insecure, selfish and unbalanced man. You know...the man whose mother thinks he hung the moon but nobody else can stand him. And what good does that do his eternal soul?

I also really liked Mahaney's encouragement to her son to "lead where appropriate." She gives a few examples of directives they give to him:

* Be the first to pray in group settings.

* Be the first to take an interest in others.

* Be the first to lead in conversation.

* Be the first to stop a conversation that is not edifying.

* Be the first to offer to serve others.

Men seem to constantly be demeaned in our media and culture. I want my sons to buck the stereotype of the apathetic, uncommunicative male...the one who is afraid of domineering women, who never does the right or hard thing, and who is basically just selfish. Give this series a read if you have boys. It has some insightful moments.

Out of My Comfort Zone

2009-10-09T10:08:00.000-07:00

A herd of cattle running toward me. It's Clint's third attempt to get the cattle through the gate and into the next pasture for grazing. I'm at the ranch helping, and by helping I mean sitting in the Dually with the boys trying to block the herd from going in the wrong direction. Clint is galloping back and forth around the cattle making as much noise as he can to get the cattle moving. My two year old is yelling out the window at the top of his lungs, "Hya cows!" I just finished running through a marsh with a crying baby who has had enough of this adventure, and now my feet are soaked and I am starting to get some sort of suspicious looking rash on my shins. Suddenly Clint is signaling that I need to move the truck because it's in the wrong place...of course I can't start it.

That was the last time we went to the ranch as a family. This time it seemed remarkably painless. In fact, for my two year old, it was a foretaste of heaven.

Global Mindedness

2009-10-05T11:00:00.000-07:00

There is so much evil and darkness in the world that it almost seems to overwhelm me at times. Perhaps ignorance is bliss, but it makes for small hearts and shallow minds. If it were not for the great hope that is breaking through the darkness, the world would be a fearful place indeed.

How easy it is to become cocooned in the realm of my life with no consciousness of the world around me. I forget the benefit of recognizing the work of God throughout the world in millions of peoples lives simultaneously.

I profited from reading the Voice of the Martyrs report on Eritrean Christians this week. I especially enjoyed a guide they included in their newsletter to help people pray for global issues in an informed way.

Sipping Coffee at Starbucks

2009-09-29T15:56:00.000-07:00

Dear Anna is graciously babysitting two cantankerous little boys so that I can have some time to myself. I feel like my mind is regularly churning with copious amounts of insignificant, mundane details. It seems a rare occasion that I have time to read or think about anything of depth. So I am trying hard not to think about whether or not I put the bedrail up on Knox's crib before I left, or if Hunter is still crying or my never ending list of chores.