For My Weary Friends

This Spurgeon reading was a balm to my soul this morning. It seems that so many dear friends and family are going through difficult things right now. I also have felt some discouragement this morning as I plunge into the world of overdue babies and potential inducements and complications. In the "midnight of adversity" it is so difficult to remember God's faithfulness. I forget that seasons of day and night are the norm until 'we reach the land of which it is written, "there is no night there."' It's worth taking five minutes to read because Spurgeon says it so well.

He offers four beautiful remedies for the soul in a season of darkness:

• Learn first to be content with this divine order, and be willing, with Job, to receive evil from the hand of the Lord as well as good.
• Study next, to make the outgoings of the morning and the evening to rejoice. Praise the Lord for the sun of joy when it rises, and for the gloom of evening as it falls. There is beauty both in sunrise and sunset;...
• Believe that the night is as useful as the day. The dews of grace fall heavily in the night of sorrow.
• Continue thy service under all changes. If in the day thy watchword be labour, at night exchange it for watch. Every hour has its duty, do thou continue in thy calling as the Lord’s servant until he shall suddenly appear in his glory.

Thankfulness in adversity is a feeling that needs to be cultivated. It does not come naturally. How blind we are sometimes to see the beauty in the night, and yet Christ is there if we open our eyes to see Him. His steadfast love and strong arm surround and uphold His own. He never abandons them.

The dews of grace fall heavily in the night of sorrow.

What waste is achieved by despair and escapism. What wealth could be gained by soaking in the dews of grace. To know and see Him in all his beauty and loveliness. Is this not worth the night?

Outrageous Love

How can morally upright people go to hell and the worst offenders of mankind be forgiven?

I sometimes feel the seemingly injustice of God's love. I wonder if I am the elder brother in the Prodigal Son parable, or like Jonah in his bitterness toward God for forgiving the Ninevites. I instinctively feel that people should deserve what they get, whether good or bad.

How quickly I forget that Jesus was butchered on that tree. God can forgive whomever he choses--from the greatest to the worst of mankind.

If Jesus bore God's wrath on behalf of a sinner at great cost to himself, who am I to oppose it?

If he clothes repulsive, despicable people in beautiful robes of His own righteousness, who am I to object?

If he chooses to love the unlovely ones and to adopt them as his own precious children, who am I to speak against them?

God's love is not unjust. It is generous and overflowing in ways that are outrageous to me.

But perched on my high hill of self righteousness, I wonder. Would I not have done all that and more without Divine restraint.

This generous love that exchanges death for life, wounds for healing, mourning for dancing, overflows to me too. It flows over me in an unconditional and unrelenting stream that washes me clean.

For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, whom God put forward as a propitiation by his blood, to be received by faith...so that he might be just and the justifier of the one who has faith in Jesus. ~Romans 3:23-26

The Consummate Gardener (aka My Neighbor)

I decided to try my hand at gardening this year. I am not a plant person. Whenever I try to grow things, they usually die. A friend of mine once gave me some mint plants. She assured me that I could not kill mint. It was like a weed.

I killed it.

Things seem to be turning around. I am suddenly a hardcore veggie gardener. I'm getting totally competitive with our 70-something neighbors. I can't walk past their yard without an envious glance at their vegetable patch. Why are their tomatoes so ripe and beautiful? Maybe I need to move mine around the yard constantly in order to get the best possible sunlight. (They have their tomatoes on wheels...really.)

I told the women in my running club that I had started a garden this year. The look on their faces made me wonder if I had something on my face.

"You mean like...a vegetable garden? My grandmother does that sort of thing."

Maybe it was my overly enthusiastic gushing that turned them off. I better tone that down next time.

We have already consumed over half the garden. I think to myself, "Who wouldn't want to do this? The food is fresh, cheap and chemical free." Well, at least it was chemical free until my husband put the bug fogger to it.

Just Do Something

NEEDING TO KNOW THE FUTURE

I am enjoying Kevin DeYoung's book, Just Do Something. The subtitle is A Liberating Approach To Finding God's Will Or How To Make A Decision Without Dreams, Visions, Fleeces, Impressions, Open Doors, Random Bible Verses, Casting Lots, Liver Shivers, Writing in the Sky, Etc.

The subtitle is pretty self explanatory. If you've ever felt paralyzed with indecision or felt the need to constantly second guess yourself or if you can't seem to make decisions until you know exactly how it will all play out, this book is a liberating read. I've only read the first 4 chapters, but so far I am very impressed. He suggests five reasons for our obsession with knowing the future before we make decisions.

1. We want to please God
2. Some of us are timid
3. We want perfect fulfillment
4. We have too many choices
5. We are Cowards

PUFFED UP ON MEDIOCRITY

I sometimes agonize over my decisions. I think this is because I selfishly want the best and most fulfilling life possible. Ironically, a life of paralyzing fear and indecision is pretty far from heaven on earth. DeYoung's assessment about my generation in particular I found very interesting.

Some of this is a generational thing. After all, my peers and I were among the first ones to experience grade inflation, where we got A's for excavation our feelings and "doing our best" at calculus. We were among the first to be programmed for self-esteem, as we learned that having a pulse made us wonderfully special...We've been stuffed full of praise for mediocrity and had our foibles diagnosed away with hyphenated jargon and pop psychology. It's no wonder we expect people to affirm us for everything, criticize us for nothing, and pay us for anything we want to do...We want it all--all we need is for God to show us the way. (p. 30)

THE WEIGHTINESS OF THE INCONSEQUENTIAL

If we are so puffed up, why isn't my generation confident in decision making? We tend to float through life without committing to anything permanent. We want to keep all our options open. The transition to adulthood and all it's responsibilities is almost despised or looked down upon by peers. Being free and young is the ultimate achievement. It reminds me of a Lululemon bag I saw that said something to the effect of "Enjoy every experience. It may be the meaning of life." This does put a lot of pressure on a person. If you make the wrong choice and miss out on certain experiences, you may miss out on the whole meaning of your life!

If we are in any way believing this lie, it is no wonder that we hesitate to be attached to one person, one job, one place or especially hesitant about having children--those cute little people that consume all our best time and energy. We miss out on a myriad of experiences if we limit ourselves in any of these ways.

I think we feel somewhat entitled to the best experiences the world has to offer. Not only this, but we also desire and expect instant gratification and fulfillment in this world. DeYoung comments on the negative consequences of our insatiable desire for earthly fulfillment:

We've assumed that we'll experience heaven on earth, and then we get disappointed when earth seems so unheavenly. We have little longing left for our reward in the next life because we've come to expect such rewarding experiences in this life. And when every experience and situation must be rewarding and put us on the road to complete fulfillment then suddenly the decisions about where we live, what house we buy, what dorm we're in, and whether we go with tile or laminate take on weighty significance. There is just too much riding on every decision I'm pretty sure most of us would be more fulfilled if we didn't fixate on fulfillment quite so much. (p.32)

TRUSTING IN THE ONE WHO HOLDS THE FUTURE

There is so much wisdom packed into this little book. One gem I've gleaned is that we don't need to know God's individual will for us before we make decisions. We can trust that God has good things in store for us, set our mind on things above and then 'just do something'. In his own words,"we can stop pleading with God to show us the future, and start living and obeying like we are confident that He holds the future." (p.42)

My Little Cowboys

Taking a ride on Daddy's horse.

H. and his cousins at a rodeo.

Favorite Arizona Moments

We just returned from a lovely family vacation. I thought I would share a few of my favorite moments in picture form.

My boys.

Talking the dune buggy for a ride in the desert.

The view from Apache Trail.

Ice cream at Tortilla Flats.

My two year old watching a rodeo.

Death, Widowhood and Old Age Humiliation

Lately I've been thinking about finishing well.

I sometimes wonder whether my mind or my body will break down first. I think about the frustration of going from competency to helplessness. What will it be like to have my independence taken away from me? Someday I will no longer be able to drive or live on my own. I may not be able to dress or bath myself. I wonder if I will have the humility to laugh or if I will feel degraded. I recently saw an older person stumble and spill their coffee on their pants and someone's floor, and feel humiliated. We will all experience this someday.

I think about having loved ones die, and being alone. I once heard a widow recount how she was no longer included in certain social events after her husband died because tables were set for an even number, and couples like to hang out with other couples.

THE TEMPTATION OF BITTERNESS

I wonder how difficult it will be to journey through old age. Why do some people finish so well, and others act with such ugliness. Some are kind, joyful, and contented even though their life is far more difficult then it was in younger years. Others seem bitter, selfish, and demanding...like they are owed something and not getting their due.

I imagine it is tempting to think, 'Is this it? Is it all over? Isn't there supposed to be some payoff for all the things I've accomplished in my life?'

I'm sure that the difficulties of old age will exacerbate my sinful tendencies. It's easy to be a good person when your life is great, but it's far harder to put sin to death when life is difficult.

BEING FORGOTTEN

The elderly are somewhat forgotten in our world. Their spotlight stolen by the young and upcoming. I am convicted that I desire far too much attention from other people. In the words of Robert Murray McCheyne, "I need to be made willing to be forgotten." If my identity is in Christ alone, then even in my loneliest times, it will be enough. How is it possible that I am loved by the God of the universe--intimately, unconditionally--because of Jesus' work on my behalf? This truth makes me hopeful.

THE LAST CHAPTER

As I contemplate these things, the thing that gives me the greatest hope is this: old age is not the final chapter in life. There is eternity after that. And that is when the payoff comes for those who trust in Jesus for salvation. When our broken, decaying bodies will be made whole again. All that is crooked and wrong in the world will gone and the beauty of our Saviour will be before our eyes night and day. "In Your presence there is fullness of joy; at Your right hand are pleasures forevermore."

FINAL THOUGHTS

As I contemplate further, I wonder why I assume that I will live into old age anyway? Perhaps I will see my Saviour sooner than I think.

Maybe this all seems a little morbid. I do realize that there is no surer way to make good company uncomfortable than to talk about death. But I wonder if we too often live in a world where sin does not exist and death does not happen. A delightful, yet false reality.