The Who of Holiness

I recently read Kevin DeYoung's book The Hole in our Holiness. There were so many good points made in the book, but one sentence in particular stood out to me.

“We must always remember that in seeking after holiness we are not so much seeking after a thing as we are seeking a person.”

Pursuing Christ

Holiness is a good thing, but it is not an end in itself.


Christ is the perfectly holy one and it is only in him that we can grow in holiness. In John 15:5 Jesus says,“I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.”

If we seek to abide in Christ, we will become more like him in holiness. But the opposite is also true. If we seek holiness apart from Christ, we will grow in our self-righteousness. We will be less like Christ and more like a creature of our own making.

Deepening Communion

Before Clint and I were married, a friend advised him to make a PhD study of his wife. In other words, he should know me so well that he could write a research thesis on me. I have obviously reaped the benefits of this advice. There are immeasurable advantages to seeking to know and love your spouse for who they really are. Not the least of which is the ability (and the desire) to please your spouse.

In seeking to grow in holiness, a huge motivator for us should be wanting to please God because we love him. 

In order to grow in holiness we need to seek to know God better. Pursuing deeper fellowship with God does not make us more or less saved. Nor does it make us more or less loved by God. But it will deepen our love for him and increase our desire to please him.

Pursuing holiness is hard work. It is desirable and satisfying only because we are moving away from the sin that once held us captive and we are moving closer to the One that we love the most.

The Means

God has also given us means to know Him better such as reading the Scriptures, hearing preaching, prayer, and fellowship with believers. These means of grace are ordinary, but effective.

The Benefits

The benefits of growing in intimacy with our beautiful Saviour are immense. Not only does our relationship with Him increase in sweetness and meaning, but our desires also change to become more like Him. Sin begins to look meaningless and dissatisfying. And walking in a way that pleases God becomes more and more delightful.

A life of communion with Jesus Christ is a transformed life. He is the vine in which we flourish. So maybe in the pursuit of holiness the question is not so much what or how, but Who.

An Invisibly Productive Day

This morning I was thinking though my priorities. I took pen to paper and made a list. Suddenly, I had an epiphany. I was struggling to feel like I was getting things done because the top priorities on my list required invisible work. This meant that if I spent the majority of my time doing the things that were most important to me, I would not see immediate results. I was beginning to see my need to embrace delayed gratification.  

Visible Work

There is something so satisfying about organizing my home, gardening, cutting my son's hair, painting the bathroom and making a beautiful meal. This kind of work is visible. At the end of the day there are results that are pleasing to me and to others. This is good work. Satisfying work.

But there is another kind of work that is sometimes not as immediately satisfying. This work does not always give immediate results. It requires me to be intentional and self-disiplined. The work I am speaking of is the work of relationships.

It seems like most women I know, myself included, choose to prioritize the visual kind of work. It is important to us to know that our life is a well-ordered smooth-sailing ship. Being well-organized and hard-working are good things. But here is the crunch: if our life is jam-packed full of visibly good work, what has happened to our relational work? Most likely it has been neglected.

Invisible Work

The fact is that good, healthy relationships require time, energy and effort and our visible work may have to take a backseat to it at times.

There is wisdom to leaving those crunchy Cheerios on the floor and instead spending 20 minutes of quiet, unhurried communion with my God. 

There is wisdom in an afternoon spent playing, talking and hanging out with my boys instead of cleaning the storage room.

There is wisdom in dropping a project for long enough to really see my husband, to hear what he is saying and to engage him with warmth and affection.

When I lay my head down on my pillow tonight I may have a crunchy floor, a disorganized storage room and some half-finished projects, but maybe I've done something of worth. Maybe I can close my eyes and thank God that I've had an invisibly productive day.

For My Favourite Person on His 40th Birthday

How do I express my love for you when words do not do justice to my feelings.
The precious bond of covenant love between us is my greatest earthly joy.
We're blessed with heavenly shadows--not less than lovely feelings, but so much more.
To live and love and breathe within this covenant is joy.  

Your unwavering promise to love me has been assaulted, tested and proved.
My facade of goodness has been torn away many times between us.
You know my flaws.
You pursue me with forgiveness, love and hope.

The Lord God speaks tenderly to His bride,
“I will make you my wife forever,
showing you righteousness and justice,
unfailing love and compassion.”
You mirror this Holy One.
This above all fuels my love for you.
To be your intimate companion is bliss.

Your children adore you.
And how could they not?
Your character is displayed in the many facets of fatherhood.
You give them your time, your playfulness and your affection.
You hear them speak and know their struggles.
You guide them with love and patience.
You welcome them with open arms,
Echoing their Heavenly Father.

I’m humbled by your generosity,
Inspired by your faith.
Proud of your courage and initiative.
Your strength of character proclaims your trustworthiness.
Your sincere love for people increases mine for you.

When I see the masterpiece that the Lord is making,
I am overwhelmed with thankfulness.
The painting of your life is covered with colorful strokes of grace.
It is saturated with the goodness of God.

Today I celebrate your life.
Many have testified of your care in their lives.
Our sons lives are enriched by yours.
And I am blessed beyond measure to be loved by you.
Without exaggeration I can say,
the world is a better place because of you.

Happy Birthday, My Love!

Funny Things Knox Says

Everything Knox says at the moment is emphatic and very important sounding. We joke that the only way he seems capable of speaking is loud or extra loud. I think he has inherited the Humfrey-loud-voice. Knox is really into compound words at the moment. The other week we were driving to church and Clint missed his turn.

"Mom, Dad just took a shortcut. Do you know what a short cut is? It's SHORT. And it's CUT. It's SHORT. CUT." he says with emphatic cutting hand movements.

(Hunter thought it was important to clarify at this point that Dad actually took a "long-cut.")

Another time we were wheeling our cart through the grocery store and he said,

"Mom, I would sure like some breadcake."

"I'm not sure what breadcake is Knoxy."

"It's BREAD. And it's CAKE. It's BREAD. CAKE."

The best was when K tried to explain chicken nuggets to me.

"They are CHICKEN on the inside and FINGERS on the outside! They are CHICKEN. FINGERS." he says wiggling his fingers in my face.

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The other day Knox was crying very loudly because he didn't want to do something that I had asked him to do.

"Knox, you need to stop crying and get control of yourself."

He stops and says matter-of-factly, "Mom, I won't do this ad infinitum."

(I guess this is what happens when you marry a theologian who thinks it's "fun" to teach his kids Latin.)

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We have really been working on helping Knox to be "slow to anger". And there has been some very encouraging progress with him. The only funny thing is that almost at every meal he has started praying,

"Dear God, please help Mom to be slow to anger."

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Of course all of this is funny coming from Knox because he is a big softy at heart with a beautiful smile and sparkling eyes.

He declares his love for us with this same sing-songy, tough-guy voice. His chubby hands reach wide.

"I love you THIS much!"

I'm so thankful for this little guy.

The Power of Words, Part 2

The modest man is aware of the power of his words, so he chooses each one carefully, seeking to make each word an opportunity to bless and strengthen and build up. ~ Modest: Men and Women Clothed in the Gospel by Tim Challies, R W Glenn

My culture tells me that my words are all about myself and that I have a right to express myself. But more is required of a Christian. We need to be aware of the power of our words to affect other people.

Sometimes I wonder if my generation has lost the ability to discern what is appropriate in conversation. We often display a surprising lack of savvy concerning how to speak in a way that "fits the occasion" as it says in Ephesians 4:29. It's like our propriety radar was scrambled with the rise of facebook.  

There are certain words that are private and other words that are public. I cringe to think of the times that I have said inappropriate things to a large number of people. These same things would have been appropriate if I was speaking with only one or two close friends, but they were not helpful or wise in the larger context. Private words in a public context are not modest. They are at best attention-getting and at worst injurious because others are almost always implicated in our personal lives.

Humble Words

I've always loved this observation by C.S. Lewis. He describes the demeanour and words of a humble person in his book Mere Christianity:

Do not imagine that if you meet a really humble man he will be what most people call “humble” nowadays: he will not be a sort of greasy, smarmy person, who is always telling you that, of course, he is nobody. Probably all you will think about him is that he seemed a cheerful, intelligent chap who took a real interest in what you said to him. If you do dislike him it will be because you feel a little envious of anyone who seems to enjoy life so easily. He will not be thinking about humility: he will not be thinking about himself at all.

According to Lewis, humble people are aware of their flaws, but they do not constantly speak of them because they are not constantly thinking about themselves. They are content with their life and eager to take an interest in others. 

Of course, we need people we can talk to when going through struggles and difficulty. People with whom we can be transparent and raw. Intimate friends, a pastor, a spouse or a counsellor can be helpful in these situations. But if the majority of our words are speaking of ourselves, we are missing the point of words. We are missing great opportunities to bless other people.

This can especially be a problem if we need other people to affirm us and approve of our choices. If we find our self-worth in other people's opinions of us, we will always be self-absorbed in our conversations. 

This craving for approval can only be satisfied in God's redeeming love for us. When we find our security and worth in Him our words cease to be controlled by other people's opinions, and we are freed to take a genuine interest in others.

The Responsibility of Words

Words affect other people. They have the power to build up or to tear down. They can burn down a forest or plant new seeds of hope.

I feel like I am still learning how to use my words. It takes time and effort to learn how to bless, strengthen and build others up. Thankfully, we don't need to be be charming and witty for God to use us. For those of us who often feel inadequate and "slow of speech" like Moses, we need to remember what God told him:

 “Who has made man's mouth? Who makes him mute, or deaf, or seeing, or blind? Is it not I, the Lord? Now therefore go, and I will be with your mouth and teach you what you shall speak.”

I am so thankful for treasured friends who have been gracious to me when I have spoken selfish and rash words. I am equally thankful for their generous, grace-giving words. I have often been blessed by the God-honouring words of brothers and sisters in Christ.

The Power of Words

"no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison...From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so." ~ James 3:8, 10

I've been thinking a lot about words lately. I have often underestimated the impact of my words. I have also underestimated the longevity of my words.

Once you say them, you can never un-say them.

How often have I spoken without thinking through the implications of my words? How often have I been so short-sighted in the moment that I failed to see how my words would effect the reputation of another. 

The glory of having something interesting to say overshadows my concern for others-- both those with whom I am speaking and also those rarely remembered second and third-hand hearers.

Words are so easy to speak. They are such a little thing in the moment. But a few seconds worth of words can set in motion horrific consequences. Maybe that's why the apostle James compares the tongue to a small rudder that guides a huge ship or a small spark that sets a forest ablaze. 

What Our Words Say About Us

Our words are an expression of our hearts. People perceive things about us by what we say. These words divulge our pride, our prejudices, and our insecurities. They expose what we value, what we love and what we crave. 

It is tempting to be duplicitous.  To speak in a way that is contrary to our heart's true feelings because we think it is what others want to hear. This is not admirable or sustainable.

But because of the indelible nature of words, a motive-searching moment before speaking is invaluable. 


Words that Give Grace

"Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear."

A Christian's words should have purpose. They should be intentional, thoughtful and strategic. They should be words of healing, of kindness, and encouragement. They should seek to "give grace to those who hear." This may be as simple as engaging in small talk or as complex as counselling a person through a major life crisis. The intention is the same: to genuinely seek the other's good and to draw their attention to the God who saves. 

Even corrective words can be done with gentleness, respect and humility. I love this example of Winston Churchill being confronted by his wife, Clementine. It's an excerpt from a letter found in Speaking for Themselves: The Personal Letters of Winston and Clementine Churchill. The manner of Clementine's rebuke is so loving and respectful that you know she is doing it wholly because she cares about his well being. She says:

I hope you will forgive me if I tell you something that I feel you ought to know. One of the men in your entourage - a devoted friend - has been to me & told me that there is a danger of your being generally disliked by your colleagues and subordinates because of your rough sarcastic and overbearing manner...I was astonished and upset because in all these years I have been accustomed to all those who have worked with & under you, loving you - I said this, & I was told 'No doubt it's the strain.' My darling Winston - I must confess that I have noticed a deterioration in your manner & you are not so kind as you used to be...with this terrific power [as Prime Minister] you must combine urbanity, kindness and if possible Olympic calm...Besides you won't get the best results by irascibility and rudeness...Please forgive your loving devoted and watchful - Clemmie.

Grace-giving words have the power to bring about change. How different would our conversations be if we felt that it was our responsibility to bless others?

Restless Patience

The rocky mountaintops stretch across the Canmore skyline. I breathe the fresh mountain air and am amazed at the awesome display of God's beauty and majesty. If only I could take this foretaste of heaven home with me--this moment of quiet when God's presence seems so large and my joy seems so full.

But I am well aware that these carefree highs are not a perpetual experience. They are interspersed with genuine difficulty, fatigue, sickness and toil. The temptation to escape the ugly aspects of life, to create a false heaven on earth, is strong. A mountain view, the calming ambiance of a spa, fun with friends, a day at the beach or a favourite pastime cannot deal with the problem of sin. These lovely blessings cannot eradicate the difficult parts of life in a fallen world. They were never meant to.

It is hard to wait. The tension is acute. The beauty of redemption clashes with the impact of sin. Christ has saved me, and yet I wait for the "hope of righteousness." I wait for Christ to return and make all things new.

RESTLESS PATIENCE

But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait eagerly for it with patience. Romans 8:25

One author I read recently called this tension "restless patience." I thought it was so fitting.  He expands on this idea by quoting John Chapman, "We must learn to be content with the dissatisfaction of not yet being what we one day will be." It seems like a contradiction of terms, but I feel the truth of it in my own heart. A contented dissatisfaction pervades.

I am confronted with this truth: we do not need heaven on earth to be happy. We need a new way to interpret our circumstances. We need to see the transient nature of the ugly and the ever progressing nature of Christ's transforming work in our lives and world. Our joy does not increase as life gets easier. Our joy increases as we are transformed to become more like Christ.


THE HOPE

And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit. (2 Corinthians 3:18)

Christ Jesus has conquered sin and death. The veil that separated us from the glory of God is torn in two. Those who trust in him have the unique privilege of beholding the glory of God. Not only this, but we have great hope for change. We are being transformed "from one degree of glory to another."

It is hard to imagine that the joy I felt gazing at the mountains was only a token of what we will experience when we see him face to face. But for now, my heart safely trusts Him and I wait with contented dissatisfaction for the new creation.