12 years have passed since God joined us together on that cloudy day in May. I have learned that marriage is not about romantic highs, so much as it is about unconditional love. As the years pass, there are highs and lows and everything in between, but we love each other anyway.
Hollywood tells us romance is about desire, chemistry and fate, but that’s only half the story. Until we do the deep work, it’s all superficial.
The deep work is knowing and being known. We must own both flaws and grace in ourselves and each other and choose to embrace them. We must love and believe we are loved.
It requires seeing God’s eternal purposes for each other. As C.S. Lewis said, there are no “mere mortals”. We are eternal creatures, created in the image of God for divine purposes.
This does not heighten the expectation for perfection in the other, but rather extinguishes it. Lewis says:
“This does not mean that we are to be perpetually solemn. We must play. But our merriment must be of that kind (and it is, in fact, the merriest kind) which exists between people who have, from the outset, taken each other seriously - no flippancy, no superiority, no presumption.”
There is no ideal for the spouse to live up to. Rather, sincere, humble, unassuming love is given--love that sees the authentic other, and delights in them. A sinner and saint. A mortal being swallowed up by immortality (2 Cor. 5:4).
We need a lifetime to learn to love this way. Thank God for His wisdom in creating the lasting bond of marriage. We are far too selfish and sinful to love well without His loving boundaries to help us.
I have known the privilege of being loved well. Affection and loyalty have been my portion and I am eternally thankful for the enduring love of my husband.
Together we have explored Toronto, farm life and small town dynamics. Brandings and operas. Tragedies and glorious days. We’ve birthed three young souls that changed our lives forever and by God’s grace we are bound so tight that only death can undo it.
In covenant love, two souls merge. My ‘other half’ has enriched my life in ways that I didn’t know I wanted or needed. A human reflection of divine reality. His love blesses me everyday.